You know when bored reaches a max point, and you realize you're sorting paper clips?
Well, that's what I'm doin'- wasting time.

I realize I've never wrote a journal entry. And I thought, "Ha, perchance I will remedy this foul situation."
But, as always, I got lazy.

So instead, I decided to write NOT a journal entry about my fantastic day on the beach with my girlfriend.

It started on a sunny afternoon in the Inj. Birds were singing, the ocean was clear and cool, and the radiation was glowing- but we won't talk about that.

So things started off with a long walk on the beach. We collected... rocks. She asked me if we could build a sand castle but I quickly responded "Sand castle-ry is for the weak." So we decided to go for a swim instead. If only she knew my dark secret fear of sand...

Swimming turns out not to be much better. Mainly because my girlfriend is not as waterproofed as she told me she was, and I was electrocuted.

Hours later, sunburned, electrified & alone, I regained consciousness. The seagulls had already striped off most of my skin & made off with my toes & left arm. This was nothing in comparison to the pain in my heart since she left me. Why would you have left me alone... and on fire... on the beach? IN THE SAND?!

But that's when I found it, laser'd into the remaining flesh of my torso:
"Fredd, my hot (DEFINITELY my boyfriend) boyfriend:"
"I long for us to be together. Sadly, I have been summoned back to space, where I must fight in the army of Hot Robots in our battle against the Treacherous, Wicked, Investigator-Lacerating, Innocent-Grabbing Horrors from the Tower.

Oh, my sweet hot alien robot girlfriend. May your battle end in victory and freedom, yes freedom, that resonates across the universe like a horn. Ringing to all the sentient beings in the galaxy, "THE WAR IS OVER, PEACE BE WITH US ALL! A NEW AGE STARTS TODAY, AN AGE OF FREEDOM, AN AGE WITHOUT FEAR! The T.W.I.L.I.G.H.T. has been vanquished!" Godspeed, my naked metal love goddess. I shall be with you forever. If not only in dreams.

And so, burnt & mutilated, I limped back home to jump-start the zombie invasion.

Science And Honor.

Frederick Klaatu